No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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