would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
