Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize