Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
