i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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