I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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