This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
