somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
