please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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