Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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