It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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