She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
