I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
thus making me awesome and them whores
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I got inside last night via doggy door
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
