Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
