I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
