i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
