peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm sobbing to NWA
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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