Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
