There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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