dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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