I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
