so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
