my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
