I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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