I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
