Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
