I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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