yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
