Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize