he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Alive.
So much puke
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
