I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
