it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
