1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
