Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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