Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm sobbing to NWA
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
