...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
