This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
