I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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