I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
