So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize