You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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