Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
