i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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