I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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