I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
