Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
