I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
