no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
