I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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