His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
