6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
