Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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