So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
