That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
