Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
