He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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