i would punch a child for taco bell
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
