I love black thongs
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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